S2:E8 The Power of Valuing Yourself MAIN
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Jeremy: [00:00:00] Your value isn't defined by your past or your mistakes. It's rooted in your story, strengths, and the impact only you can create. Let's learn to embrace your worth today.
What's good? What's good? It's the Jeremy Haselwood Show. What's good, what's good? Let's get ready to go. Welcome to the Jeremy Haselwood Show. Plug in. Turn it up. Let's go. Hey, hey. Welcome to the Jeremy Haselwood Show.
Welcome to this episode where we are talking all about valuing yourself. Before we get started, make sure you tap, click, or smash the follow or subscribe button so that you'll be notified when each new episode drops.
This is season two of the Jeremy Haywood Show, and we are learning all about life transformation [00:01:00] and personal development. Each season of my show covers a different topic. My goal is to spark curiosity, build community. Inspire action and deepen our understanding of the world around us. And today we're really diving into valuing ourself.
Have you ever struggled with self-worth or saw yourself as less than, but Later, recognize that strength and growth emerge from your experience. Maybe you haven't evolved to that second part of it. What I want you to walk away from this episode is that your value does not come from what you've done perfectly. It comes from who you are, including the messy, imperfect parts. Valuing yourself isn't about being perfect. It's about embracing your story flaws and all, and using it to grow and help others.
Think about this for a moment. What is one part of your story that you've been ashamed of? and what if it was actually the key to your strength? Your worth is not based on external achievements or opinions, it's intrinsic. Let me give you an example of one of many different episodes in [00:02:00] my life where I felt less than or just not worthy.
I recall earlier in my marketing career, I. I was working at a job for a telecom company I was actually like a telemarketer. I think I touched on it on a previous episode, and I was trying to do something different. I was trying to shift careers while I was still trying to manage music on the side and everything like that, but I wanted to get into the marketing realm professionally.
So I was going to all these different networking events, and it's funny, I live in Atlanta and running into people now. Many years later, some of these people who I used to see back at those events and hearing their point of view for when they first saw me. Anyway, so I was in this room with all these marketing people, these marketing networking mixers, which are intimidating.
And even now, I don't love them. I love meeting people there, but just, it's not a comfortable situation. I don't know many people who do feel comfortable at networking events because it's just where you throw a whole bunch of people in a room and you just have to meet, and then there's so many different things going on and different [00:03:00] dynamics and all that.
But all that to say, I was young, early twenties. fresh out of college, trying to get a job or at least meet people in the marketing industry. So I'm going to this event, how I feel like I should be dressed, like I'm fully suited up suit, tie, nice shoes, everything looks great with my appearance.
So I show up at this event and I'm one of, maybe. A few people that are actually in a suit. So from the get go, I looked different from everybody else. I was really overdressed in the marketing industry. It's a much more casual, creative environment. But even knowing that, and I understood that to be the case.
I still thought, I'm looking for a job, I'm looking to network, so I need to look my absolute best. I need to have a suit and tie on and be ready to go. And there were even a couple people there that made comments. About how I was dressed and they weren't really good comments. It was just more like, oh, you really dressed up for this, or you're really overdressed for this.
But certain things that made me self-conscious of the way that I presented [00:04:00] myself Like I'm in my early twenties, one of my first suits, so it's not like it fit me great, you know? So I was just very uncomfortable there. I felt like I was in a room that I didn't belong in.
Have you ever felt like you've been in a room that you don't belong in? It's not a good feeling. It does certainly take a strike at your confidence at your self-worth. Makes you question. What you're doing, how you're doing it. what do you do with that? inside, like I knew I was a dope marketer.
Like I've been doing marketing since my teenage years. Whether it's my own music or marketing, other musicians learning how to do I. Digital marketing myself, learning how to do email marketing, doing social media and Facebook ads, Google ads, like all that stuff. I knew how to do all that stuff. I just didn't have a professional job where that was my nine to five.
So on a resume, it's really, I couldn't really put that because it wasn't a job. looking back, maybe it would've been okay to put on a resume. So it'd give me a chance to tell my story. But yeah, just not really recognizing. My worth. Like I [00:05:00] knew who I was, what I was capable of, but being in a space where I felt less than.
So that is one of many instances in my life where I devalued myself. I didn't value myself enough or have the confidence enough to really stand up and speak in a way that could overcome what I perceived as my flaws rather than recognizing my experience as a strength. There's many other examples in my life.
I look back. Over the course of my life and things that I've done, and always questioning my value and wondering if I'm good enough. So as I get into speaking, like why should people come watch me speak? Why should I write a book about personal development? Why should I start a company? Why should I even start a podcast?
Why should a client choose me? Why? Why would this girl who became my wife go out on a date with me? So there's all these conversations we have in our head. Of our self-confidence and our worth, not really valuing ourselves. And we should be flipping that question instead of, why me? It should be, why [00:06:00] not me?
Why shouldn't I be doing speaking? Why shouldn't I be writing a book about personal development? Why shouldn't I start a company? Why shouldn't I start a podcast? Why wouldn't a client choose me? Why wouldn't this girl who became my wife go out on a date with me? So it's this battle of the mind that we have and not placing enough value on ourselves.
When it comes to you and your story, you may have things like that. There may be other things in your past that you may be afraid of. There may be a shame that you deal with day to day or there may be a traumatic experience or event that happened to you in the past that you don't talk about, that you hide from the world because you feel like it will make you more of a liability than a strength.
You may think I have X wrong with me, and if people find out they may ostracize me or I have shame because of X. What if people find out I encourage you to take your power back.
What I want you to do right now, break out a pen and paper. However you're documenting things. This is really a big part of this season. If you really want breakthroughs. And personal development and life [00:07:00] transformation.
You can have them over this season of the podcast because we're really doing some work on ourselves this season. Write a short self-worth statement, and let's frame it this way. You're going to say, I am valuable because, and write down why you're valuable. And if you look at yourself and you say I'm not really valuable, dig in deep. What is something that you like about yourself? Write that down. There has to be something in yourself that you like or maybe someone has said to you. If you can't find it within yourself, is there a compliment or did somebody say something to you, even a complete stranger? Because if they saw something that they compliment you on, they saw a spark of your value.
So write down, I am valuable because, and write that out. Then let's tackle whatever that thing is, that shame, that event, that lack of confidence. Let's pinpoint that and let's attack it and let's say My worth is not tied to, and then fill that out. [00:08:00] Just complete that sentence. My worth is not tied to, and maybe there was a traumatic event that happened in your past.
Your worth is not tied to that. For me, my worth is not tied to. Being overdressed at a party, when I know that I have the skills to be a part of this industry, my worth is not tied to my looks. My worth is not tied to my lack of experience. What is your worth not tied to? And the last thing that I want you to do when we're looking at self-worth assessment and writing a self-worth statement.
List three qualities that you love about yourself. And again, if you don't love yourself, let's work on that. what would that look like? Let's be aspirational. If you could love yourself. If you're not in a state where you love yourself right now, I want you to love yourself. In an aspirational state, what three qualities would it take for you to love yourself and write those down?
There's a concept in my book, finding Your Edge, how to Unlock Your Talent or Purpose, and it talks about shame and negative [00:09:00] experiences. How they don't define you, they refine you. These are moments that hold lessons that can empower you to help others. The way I view it is that your scars are proof of your resilience, not your weakness. The things that happened to you in the past, the shortcomings that you have. I. These do not define you. They refine who you are. You are battle tested, you have gone through some things.
You have lived life, and we tend to be in a room full of people, and we don't think anybody has gone through anything. There are people in that room that have gone through worse things than you have. And many who have not gone through the degree of whatever your difficulties and challenges have been, your negative experiences.
However, everybody has gone through something and when you go through something and you talk about it, there's connection there. When I talk about pieces of my past of losing a job, it has given me so much empathy for friends, colleagues, and strangers. That I've met that have lost jobs. Like I understand how that [00:10:00] feels.
Here's how I got through that. Let me share this with you. So when you think about the negative experience you've gone through, what have you learned through that? And how can you help someone who needs to hear your voice? reflect on that. the second exercise that we're going to do in this episode is reflecting on a time that you felt ashamed or defeated.
And I literally want you to write down what did you learn from that experience. So whatever that setback was, whatever experience happened to you, whatever event that occurred in your life that made you feel a certain way, that programmed your mind, that you're not good enough, that you have devalued yourself.
What did you learn from that experience? The follow up question to that is, how has that experience made you stronger or more empathetic? Again, with my story of going through job loss and even music industry and starting a business, there are challenges that I've gone through that have given me so much awareness and [00:11:00] empathy for people around me that have been through those same scenarios.
the last question of this exercise is how can sharing my story help someone else? And I really believe that this is where you will have this aha moment because as you start to write down how your story and sharing it can help somebody else, you'll recognize that sometimes we're put in positions to endure things in our lives that can actually help many more people.
Whether it's support of someone going through or whether it's prevention, being able to warn somebody about an experience that they might be about to step into based on what you've gone through. Are you ready to go a little bit deeper? Let's take it a step further. I want you to share your story, even the messy parts, because these can inspire and empower other people. Vulnerability creates connection. How many times have you had a conversation with somebody and you're like, I just don't get much from that person?
It's very surface level. You want to go deeper, but they don't have the [00:12:00] ability to get deeper. Ask yourself, why do you want to go deeper with that person? It's because there's a connection that you're craving from that particular individual. What if you were that person that was the roadblock where someone wanted to connect more deep with you, but you just couldn't go there?
And maybe it's someone that you really wanted to connect with. It's different if it's somebody who you don't want to connect with. But sometimes the people that you do want to connect with, you can get in your own way because. You're hiding. You're having this conversation. Someone's interested in you, but you're dodging questions.
You're being pervasive when it comes to answers. But what if you just shared who you were and just built yourself up and valued your experience and use that as your strength and not your liability. So this exercise, what I want you to do this week is identify one part of your story that you've hidden or felt ashamed of.
Write it down.
And second, share that story with someone that you trust [00:13:00] this week, even if it's somebody that's already heard the story, just to give you some practice in telling that story. But get it out. Don't hold onto it. Don't run from it. Don't be ashamed of it. Don't bottle it up. Use this as a confidence booster that you've gone through this and you've survived.
You're here, you're okay. You're still in this world, and you have more to give. You have a blessing to give to somebody, a gift to share with somebody because you survived. Whatever this experience was, whatever the setback was, whatever it was that you're hiding from or running from. This is not a liability.
This is the strength. When you own your story, you take control of your narrative and you take control of your power. So my hope through this episode is that you value yourself. You take control of your power. As we wrap up this episode, instead of having multiple reflective questions like we have in the other episodes, because we've been doing a lot of questions, this one, and really doing some work on [00:14:00] ourselves with the questions, I'm just gonna leave you with one reflective question, and that question is, how will you start valuing yourself more intentionally this week?
So write that down, answer that question. How will you start valuing yourself more intentionally this week? I wanna remind you that your worth isn't based on what you've done or what others think. It's rooted in who you are and who you are is more than enough. You are more than your past. You are more than your mistakes.
You are worthy just as you are. I wanna thank you for tuning in to the Jeremy Haselwood Show. If you enjoyed today's podcast. Don't forget to like or subscribe, so you'll be notified when new episodes drop. Until next time, keep following your dreams to find your purpose.
